飞机上孩子哭闹，站出来表示自己被打扰，究竟是不是做错了？

10月 20, 2019 874 Comments

相关链接：飞机上婴儿哭闹，年轻人喊话「管好你小孩」

皮实妞，幸福不是拥有的多，而是计较的少。

如果我是那位飞机上抱着哭闹孩子的妈妈，此时我的心情正如热锅上的蚂蚁，恨不得 72 变上通天下遁地……可偏偏哪里也去不了，所以我一定是心里急躁 + 脸胀红 + 一背的湿汗。

假如在这时，我听到有人终于不能忍受，说出：请你管一下你的孩子。

初为人母的时候，我脸皮还薄，我想我会崩不住，流着失控的眼泪说：对不起对不起。

这眼泪不仅是因为愧疚，更是一名母亲集攒的无助情绪——孩子哭闹得越久，母亲的情绪就越接近濒临崩溃的极限点。

后面的剧情大概是，我边流泪边哄孩子，要是让我说话，我真做不到像视频中的妈妈那样，一边孩子哭一边语气尚算平静，我会挫败到无以复加，恨不得自己先大哭一场才能开口。

那样子一定很可怕……

所以，我老公从不让我们母子俩一起单独坐飞机（单独两个字好奇怪），无论距离长短，他都会陪我们一起。举例：

假期前他出差了，所在地离我们准备探望的爷爷奶奶家很近，我说你直接从出差地回爷爷奶奶家，到机场接我们就行了。

他不干，假期前完成工作后，赶末班飞机半夜一两点飞回来，第二天一大早再带我们娘俩差不多路线飞一趟。

你别说，我真的轻松多了。我不让他回来一是心疼钱，二是不想他太累。但说实话有他在，我手不提肩不扛，还可以让他主力带娃，我偷个懒。孩子两三岁后，我们在飞机上的标准座位安排是：我坐在走廊位，娃坐在窗口，而孩子爹坐我们中间。心机啊，嘿嘿。

孩子坐过不少次飞机了，他是个整体情绪平和、自控能力比较强、比较好说话，且（目前阶段）仍听妈妈话的孩子（自己翻起不相信的白眼……吹得过了，过了……好吧，大多数时候听妈妈话吧）。而且孩子对大飞机很感兴趣，他从不到一岁开始和我们一起飞行，从未发生过哭闹不止的情况：他很期待坐飞机，飞机阿姨发的飞机餐比妈妈的黑暗料理好吃多了！（孩子，真的吗……）

但我仍记得第一次带孩子国际长途飞行前，我们的忐忑不安，提前做了不少登机前的准备工作。

所以这篇答案，我不是来讨论对错的，而是想和各位父母 / 准父母讨论一下，怎么在密闭空间里安抚低幼段的孩子：

1、密闭空间会带给成年人及孩子额外的压力

我们大家可能听说过「幽闭恐惧症」吧，当事人在相对密闭的空间（电梯、机舱等），会出现面红或感觉面红、心慌心跳、出汗多、发抖等令人不愉快的感觉，明知没必要，却不能自控。我们普通人大多没有这么严重的程度，但也都是天性喜欢自由和开阔的，在相对狭小的空间，无论我们意识得到或意识不到，都可能会更容易产生莫名的烦躁、无端的愤怒，和对密闭空间的回避情绪。

再加上旅行前后，人们常常休息不足，或带有一定的工作任务 / 使命，所以乘客常常疲惫而各怀心事，在这样的空间，比平时更容易因为一些小事而产生磨擦。

所以不得不听孩子哭闹声的其他乘客的心情是可以理解的。

2、低幼段孩子因为生理和心理上的娇弱，密闭空间中的可能反应会更为强烈

小婴儿因为旅行会被打乱作息，加上有的孩子正处于「陌生人焦虑期」——周围全是不熟悉的大人，在不熟悉的环境中，加上气流颠簸、时不时响起的飞机广播，起飞降落时的耳压耳痛，饥饿或是肠胀气……他们都得被动接受，除了哭没有能力用语言流畅表达，又不能快速适应的。 而因为赶行程，带养自己的父母这时候也会忙着换登机牌，放行李，拿东拿西…… 潜在状态比平时少了安定和耐心（孩子觉察能力强，他们能够通过非语言形式感知父母的真实状态），对于孩子来说，可谓是雪上加霜。

3、带孩子坐飞机前，父母可以做哪些出行前的准备工作

  • 根据孩子的性格和年龄段特征，要么选择他睡觉时段的航班，要么选择他清醒时段的航班：比如短途航班可以选上午的航班，他睡也可以，不睡也能支撑——这个要看孩子平时习惯，最难办的是孩子闹觉但环境新鲜难以入睡，当他们感觉不舒服时家长真的是很被动（困了渴了饿了热了冷了无聊了紧张了，这些都要巧妙地安排好）。
  • 很多航空公司有婴幼儿服务，包括婴儿摇篮，婴儿餐 / 儿童餐，还有一些小玩具。这些需要你提前打电话预定。机场候机时，有那种卡通行李车，或是儿童游乐区，可以登机前带孩子活动一下，适当放电后在飞机上他们更能坐得住一些，有时候就直接睡了。
  • 能够提前选座位就提前选，一家三口相临，有一位家长坐在过道处，这样方便进出和互相照顾。有婴儿的家庭，航空公司一般很愿意协调第一排座位（空间宽裕，可以放婴儿睡篮），但需要你提前打电话预定。（我们可以看到，视频中的妈妈和孩子正处于居中的位置，如果提前定位在前排或后排也许要好一些。）
  • 准备一个可以带上飞机的妈咪包，其中应该包括：湿纸巾、尿不湿，一套换洗衣服（孩子容易打湿自己），睡觉时盖的小包巾，小玩具，小零食，餐具和吃饭的小兜，以及其他你认为需要的物品。孩子的水或其他婴幼儿食物一般可以带到飞机上，尤其是完整包装的，只是你需要在安检时特别检查一下。孩子如果有不离身的安抚物，要记得带上。
  • 在出行前，给孩子读一些关于飞机的绘本，并事先温和告知爸爸妈妈为什么带他坐飞机，坐飞机时需要有哪些配合爸爸妈妈的地方，坐飞机会发生什么事，有哪些是值得期待的，有哪些是好玩的。
  • 上飞机后也仍可以保持这样的对话，向他介绍周围的环境：这是我们的位置，我们需要系上安全带，前面坐着和我们一样去北京的叔叔阿姨，我们要小点声哦，你看叔叔在睡觉。
  • 我一直认为婴幼儿是听得懂父母说什么的，只要父母与他们建立了安全的依恋关系，并且带着真正的尊重和理解在与他沟通。我家孩子长牙时吃奶时咬我，我就温和地对他说：这样子妈妈会疼的。他似乎听懂了一样，马上就不咬了。

4、 准备一些适合在飞机上与孩子打发时间的游戏

下面这些方法实测有用，但最需要的是父母的全情投入。另外，孩子注意力比较短，在他不耐烦之前，家长要有所准备，你总是有方案 A、方案 B、方案 C……

低声提问，带他观察大飞机或乘务人员
说悄悄话，提示约定好的规则
轻声讲故事，读随身带的绘本
飞机上的杂志递给他，给他布置一个小任务：找一找藏有哪些动物
尝试慢慢哼歌拍睡
给他有趣的玩具或喜爱的食物
带他用眼睛观察周围有趣的人或事
上一小会儿视频
玩互动的手指游戏（石头剪头布，「叮」）
1 岁以内玩手挡脸的藏猫猫游戏（孩子可能会咯咯笑，视情况吧，笑比哭要容易忍受一些）
上升或下降时，喂奶或喂水
填色或涂鸦
释放新玩具：玩迷宫图，玩拼图，玩贴纸书
做简单的手工：比如说折一个纸飞机
猜谜语
玩反义词（比如你说上他说下，我试过大多 3 岁后的小朋友很喜欢，还能顺便打下语文基础呢）
……

5、 大点的孩子可以善用机组人员的帮助

这一条适合略大一些、能听懂话的孩子：孩子不会一直那么乖，如果他一直玩小桌板或机舱边的小窗，或不肯系安全带，你怎么劝慰都不好使，这时候可以善用一下工作人员的影响力——他们训练有素且和善。你可以说：宝宝这样做很危险，要么我们问问飞机阿姨应该怎么做好吗？ 然后不要怕麻烦，在空乘经过时甚至为此专门呼叫一次，和孩子一起确认需要遵守的规则：看似劳动了工作人员，但孩子如果听进去了，后面能够遵守规则，其实对公共环境更为尊重。

如果孩子偶尔不小心真的太大声了，并且周围乘客也有所反应，视情况郑重带着孩子向对方友好道歉：叔叔，对不起，我会小声一点的。

公德行为的练习是长期的事，不是要在上飞机前才有机会，平时在电梯里，游乐场，商场，图书馆，博物馆…… 家长可以耐心而反复示范给孩子，什么是在不同场合的得体行为。孩子终归是孩子，但他们能够学习。

我们不如把一次每一次公共事件，也当成群体学习的机会。

而我们每一个成年人，可以做的是，接触到张望到我们脸孩子的稚嫩目光时，给他一个友好的微笑:

If you see someone without a smile, just give them one of yours.

@知乎亲子

推荐绘本：《揭秘飞机》

我提到的玩具大家自己找吧……汗

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